Tuesday, February 28, 2012

3:00-6:00

Every single day, I'm up. It's like freaking clockwork. Never fails.

I wake up on my own usually having to use the bathroom. I fight the urge but the room is hot & I'm dying of thirst & I'm irritated so just going back to sleep isnt working. So I go. Then I struggle to fall back asleep. Every noise keeps me up. Paul snores, I beg him to roll over. It's not loud. Some might even only classify it as breathing but I'm so sensitive to noises its overwhelming with being so tired.

Riley will usually wait until I'm just dozing to do her wake up. Around 9mo Ry started doing one wake up a night. Usually between 3 & 5. She doesn't need anything and typically falls back to sleep quickly without any interference from me. I guess she just needs to remind me she's there. I fight the urge to run to her rescue because if she sees me her 10 min wake up turns into a 30 minute fight in the rocker. So I wait & watch the video monitor. Once she settles I start my sleep fight. It's hot, my pillow sucks, the blankets are wrinkled, what is making that noise?!

Finally at some point I'm able to fall back to sleep but it's not sound I hear everything. Then my alarm starts wailing at 6. I'm officially over it. It's beyond frustrating at this point and nothing can make it stop.

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