Monday, April 11, 2011

Douchetastic

Completely non baby related.

There is a new guy in our office. He has had an issue with me since day one. In general he's a pompous self righteous ass.

One example of his absolute disregard for anyone or anything is that he only unlocks one door in the morning. Knowing that I'm the second person in and the lock is on the floor. This forces me at 9 months pregnant to crawl on the floor to unlock the doors so that someone doesn't slam into the left one. He knows this, he sees this, he still refuses.

I'm not supposed to help his new sales assistant with any of his clients work. We are pretty sure he gets annoyed if his clients call and I answer. Clearly I'm supposed to know that the incoming call is for him when they don't call his direct line. I'm pretty sure he's written to the CEO of our company begging to adopt Singapores caning policy.

Today he totally took the cake when 2 of his clients walked in, straight to the waiting chairs directly in front of my desk and sat. Naturally I asked if I could help them, said they were there for Joe and I announced their presence via the phone intercom.

When he came out he asked his SA why she didn't announce them! Seriously? Because she was on the phone? Because they were 3 feet from my face & at my desk and across the office from her? Because she is supposed to know what all of your clients look like? I guess i was supposed to call her and tell her they were his so that when she got off the phone with another client 5 minutes later she could tell him personally? I dont know.

The only words he has spoken directly to me in weeks were, "how often do we order coffee?". I answered he nodded and walked away. I'm pretty sure this question was only directed at me because the coffee & machine are a major stressor for him and he NEEDED to know NOW!!!! His SA happened to be at lunch. Otherwise he would have asked her to call our manager and then our manager would have called me for the answer then passed it to the SA to tell him.

I have never ever met anyone quite like this guy.

An office supply order was delivered early he watched another FA carry it in because it was delivered before arrived.

He will not make eye contact with me.

When he leaves for lunch/meeting/day he specifies who he's saying goodbye to. "M, I'll be back at 2" or "I won't be long M" or "Call my cell M is anyone needs me"

He called my husband "the carpet guy".

He made us order a whole new coffee machine because the other one didn't "look" like a real coffee machine. It was a single serve Keurig that we have been using just fine for the other 6 of is for 3 years!!

He freaked out that our office wasn't doing a March Madness pool. He never even asked me, we could have gotten one going had I known it was such a life or death requirement.

I've never met anyone who thought they deserved so much and gave so little. At first I was insulted because he has made it clear that he thinks I cannot do my job but At this point I can't do anything but laugh at him.

He's psychotic, for real.





2 comments:

  1. Dude I have no idea how you haven't yelled at him yet. I probably would have been fired for killing him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I told him that our phone system could handle or do what he wanted and he called my manager to tell him I was "abrasive". Our phone system is from 1979, take it up with corporate but i cannot just make the phone do things. I really wanted to give him a box of Tampax for his birthday. He's so delusional there is nothing I can do but laugh at him at this point.

    ReplyDelete