Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Out of difficulties grow miracles

July 30th, I put it all out of my head and lounged in a pool with one of my favorite people in the whole world. I started spotting and knew my period was coming. I started to get a bit excited for our first medicated cycle.

July 31, I got wasted. Hands down shit faced can't walk straight wasted. I also puffed on quite a few cigarettes. ::head hangs in shame:: I was doing so well but 2 days after being told you need medical intervention to give your husband a child things tend to fall apart. And yes, yes they made me feel better.

So wasted was I that I didn't realize until Sunday morning, August 1st, that my period never actually started. Odder still was the spotting seemed to stop. Wellers that's strange.

Hungover and possibly still a bit drunk from the night before I decided to take a pregnancy test . I dipped my stick and set it down to await the results. 1 minute and 23 seconds later I stared open mouthed at that little stick and said, "What the fuck is that line doing there?"

It's a cheapie Internet test, it's probably faulty. I'll dip another one. I dip, I strip, I shower in a vain attempt to wipe the cobwebs from my brain.

I check the stick after my shower and there is another pesky line. Hmm 2 broken tests? Really? I guess with my luck it would happen. I figure I'll go to Walgreens and get a First Response.

I wake Paul up with, "Paul, Paul, wake up. I'll be back in a bit. I have to run to Walgreens I think I just got a positive pregnancy test. I'll be back bye" Not exactly the smooth delivery I had planned when we first started trying but that loses it's glory after a bit.

I dip my First Response test and sit dumb founded on the toilet repeating the only thing I can think of over and over, "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit". Paul looks, says it's kind of a light line.

Still in disbelief I decide that I need to go back to Walgreens to get a digital. The one that will spell the words out to me. "PREGNANT" or "NOT PREGNANT"

The Walgreens lady recognized me and said, "weren't you just here." I said, "yes, problem?" Aren't they not supposed to acknowledge your purchases? Whatever, I didn't have time to get annoyed I had to take my 4th pregnancy test of the hour.

I sat shaking on the toilet seat, waiting for that stupid hour glass to stop spinning and give me the words!!

Sure enough after what felt like an eternity, "PREGNANT" came up on the screen. I shook it furiously to see if maybe the "NOT" part was just slow in appearing, it wasn't.

We are pregnant. We are having a child. We are going to be parents. Please God don't let me screw this up.


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