The Fake Out

I've always been amazed and confused by mothers. Why in the freaking world does you all wake up so early. 5-6am for shiggles. I have often wanted to ask what was wrong. Do you not enjoy sleep? Are you an insomniac? Do you really have THAT much to do in the morning?

I no longer have those questions. I'm on day 2 of work and I have been up and at'em 30 minutes before my alarm. 30 MINUTES!! Don't get me wrong I still love my sleep. I actually get quite angry at 6 when I realize I'm wide the F awake.

I close my eyes. Demanding to go back to sleep. You will f'ing get another 30 minutes. It's yours for the taking. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Then comes the tiny little noise over the monitor. It's barely audible but I know it's there. The sound of 12 week old eyelids prying open to look at the pretty 6:05 sun. Welp that's the end of those 30 minutes. A litany of "oh craps" stream through my mind. Shes up.

I fly through the house knowing there is a crap ton to do and it is much easier while she sleeps. Run to let the dogs out, mix a bottle, gulp some coffee, listen intently to the monitor to hear if she's really up or if it was all a trick. Decide it was a trick. So I shower as quickly as possible because one fake out surely leads to the real thing in short time. Slap on some makeup and think, "oh isn't she cute. Still sound asleep and I'm ready for the day 45 minutes early." a trickster this one is.

I get it now moms. 18 years of kids and getting up at the butt crack of dawn to get yourselves ready before having to devote the remainder of your morning to the kids and I wouldn't sleep either. Hell I'm only on day 2 and I've learned the luxury of the early rise.

As i down my second cup of coffee, I realize I now understand the true reason caffeine exists.

The fake out...